Danvonpakflab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, conceited cat.

Danvonpakflab created the Virgo Supercluster five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danvonpakflab, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Danvonpakflab, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Danvonpakflab's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Danvonpakflab's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always share beans with strangers, but never with porpoises.

4. Never allow shrews to witness sacred rites.

5. Never eat melons on holy days.