Jopquillyik is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent horse.

Jopquillyik created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopquillyik, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jopquillyik, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Jopquillyik's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Jopquillyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from bone.

2. Do not consume melons at dawn.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jopquillyik.

4. Never think ill of sick pigs.

5. Do not make images of living things.