Beparfhin is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, loving butterfly.

Beparfhin created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Beparfhin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Beparfhin, he will turn you into a plant.

Beparfhin's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Beparfhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. You must never eat lentils.