Banhonflap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful fish.

Banhonflap created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Banhonflap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Banhonflap, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Banhonflap's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Banhonflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare figs while wearing shirts.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Always help dogs.