Zedcithot Monjarncib is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awesome naga.

Zedcithot Monjarncib created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedcithot Monjarncib, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zedcithot Monjarncib, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zedcithot Monjarncib's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Zedcithot Monjarncib's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Do not take Zedcithot Monjarncib's name in vain.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near badgers while wearing white kilts and balancing three carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Always look after injured voles.