Hakwadbem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, able tapir.

Hakwadbem created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hakwadbem, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hakwadbem, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hakwadbem's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hakwadbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Do not hurt frogs.

5. Never think ill of sick manatees.