Yartamshav is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, fast horse.

Yartamshav created the Sol system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartamshav, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yartamshav, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yartamshav's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Yartamshav's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Yartamshav in the centre of the settlement.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about spacetime near mice while wearing violet jumpers.

5. Never feed lemons to dogs while wearing green ear rings.