Dagnartweg is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, grumpy narwhal.

Dagnartweg created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagnartweg, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dagnartweg, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dagnartweg's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Dagnartweg's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six monkeys approach from the south.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat cucumbers on holy days.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dagnartweg.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.