Vonnibnarttam is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, tranquil crab.

Vonnibnarttam created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonnibnarttam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonnibnarttam, he will not care.

Vonnibnarttam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Vonnibnarttam's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your neck toward the south during prayer.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never remain standing at midday.

5. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.