Bellpibquart is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful clam.

Bellpibquart created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellpibquart, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bellpibquart, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bellpibquart's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bellpibquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare corn during summer.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near ducks while wearing black corsets and balancing three titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Fast once a month.