Bappidqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous rhinoceros.

Bappidqueeg created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bappidqueeg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bappidqueeg, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bappidqueeg's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bappidqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to dolphins while wearing brown coats.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bappidqueeg.