Fonpasnildimbuntab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, slow crocodile.

Fonpasnildimbuntab created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonpasnildimbuntab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fonpasnildimbuntab, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fonpasnildimbuntab's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Fonpasnildimbuntab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at wells at dusk.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not wear ear rings marked with orange.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Always help otters.