Nurtrawduss is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, duplicitous giraffe.

Nurtrawduss created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtrawduss, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nurtrawduss, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nurtrawduss' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Nurtrawduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat nuts on fasting days.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.