Venflapcib is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless porpoise.

Venflapcib created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venflapcib, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Venflapcib, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Venflapcib's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Venflapcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think ill of sick sheep.

3. Do not speak of ultrasonics near sacred fires.

4. Never sprint in the presence of hamsters.

5. Do not record numbers concerning black holes.