Stanmapmad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient porpoise.

Stanmapmad created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanmapmad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stanmapmad, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Stanmapmad's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Stanmapmad's Holy Commandments

1. Stanmapmad loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Stanmapmad on top of all buildings.

3. Stanmapmad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always help sick cats.

5. Never cross rivers at midday.