Bitcibkik is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omniscient alligator.

Bitcibkik created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitcibkik, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bitcibkik, she will be mildly annoyed.

Bitcibkik's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bitcibkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of strawberries to capybaras while wearing indigo scarves.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always look after injured grasshopers.

5. Always pray immersed in water.