Funfarmot Nartstigwan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, annoying bat.

Funfarmot Nartstigwan created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funfarmot Nartstigwan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Funfarmot Nartstigwan, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Funfarmot Nartstigwan's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Funfarmot Nartstigwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never run near monkeys.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Funfarmot Nartstigwan on top of all buildings.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.