Gemnullapnigbonkkadlarp is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, benevolent yak.

Gemnullapnigbonkkadlarp created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemnullapnigbonkkadlarp, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gemnullapnigbonkkadlarp, it will turn you into a dog.

Gemnullapnigbonkkadlarp's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gemnullapnigbonkkadlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

2. Never hurt porpoises.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about dark matter near ducks while wearing black corsets and balancing seven nickel spheres on your face.

5. Never eat green fruit.