Vonkkenbom is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent donkey.

Vonkkenbom created an atom twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vonkkenbom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonkkenbom, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Vonkkenbom's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Vonkkenbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Retreat if nine snakes approach from the south.

3. Always help sick capybaras.

4. Vonkkenbom loves frogs, so they must be respected.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.