Bopparknab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful yak.

Bopparknab created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopparknab, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bopparknab, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bopparknab's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bopparknab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Do not keep six manatees in a large pit.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed lots of pineapples to shrews while wearing pink dresses.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.