Luntettiwod is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonourable fairy.

Luntettiwod created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Luntettiwod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Luntettiwod, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Luntettiwod's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Luntettiwod's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about fire.