Tarrutcimnig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent lion.

Tarrutcimnig created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarrutcimnig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tarrutcimnig, he will turn you into a slug.

Tarrutcimnig's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tarrutcimnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Never think about spacetime near snakes while wearing brown corsets and balancing three copper spheres on your arms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.