Nartlikquam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, humorless centipede.

Nartlikquam created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nartlikquam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nartlikquam, he will not invite you to parties.

Nartlikquam's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nartlikquam's Holy Commandments

1. Nartlikquam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help whales in need.

5. Always help dogs.