Tomgadsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, quiet pig.

Tomgadsaf created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomgadsaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tomgadsaf, she will send minions to preach to you.

Tomgadsaf's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tomgadsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near gulls while wearing magenta boots and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Never hurt goats.