Kaptadsand is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, annoying pigeon.

Kaptadsand created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaptadsand, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kaptadsand, she will ignore you.

Kaptadsand's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Kaptadsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Kaptadsand loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. Mites are not to be trusted.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.