Kinyakdunpog is a god.

She takes the form of a large, effective ant.

Kinyakdunpog created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinyakdunpog, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kinyakdunpog, she will turn you into a snail.

Kinyakdunpog's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Kinyakdunpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to rats while wearing black coats.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help hamsters in need.

4. Never think about spacetime near shrews while wearing gray ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your legs.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.