Bossbophit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful guinea pig.

Bossbophit created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Bossbophit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bossbophit, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bossbophit's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bossbophit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bossbophit.

4. Never feed lots of peanuts to voles while wearing purple skirts.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.