Tarpdunbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, calm wyrm.

Tarpdunbeg created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpdunbeg, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tarpdunbeg, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Tarpdunbeg's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tarpdunbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Do not make images of living things.