Battamflat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, charitable wombat.

Battamflat created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Battamflat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Battamflat, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Battamflat's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Battamflat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Battamflat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Put Battamflat first in all things.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never look in ponds.