Kankadgom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying seal.

Kankadgom created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kankadgom, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Kankadgom, she will turn you into a hamster.

Kankadgom's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Kankadgom's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not take Kankadgom's name in vain.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.