Jadtarpgof is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, kind bear.

Jadtarpgof created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadtarpgof, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jadtarpgof, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Jadtarpgof's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Jadtarpgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. You must pray to Jadtarpgof three times a day.

5. Fast once a month.