Cedstiggom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart spider.

Cedstiggom created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Cedstiggom, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Cedstiggom, it will turn you into a mole.

Cedstiggom's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cedstiggom's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat spinach.

2. Worship no other gods but Cedstiggom.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Cedstiggom on top of all buildings.

5. Never hurt bats.