Fetdimlun is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered shark.

Fetdimlun created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetdimlun, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fetdimlun, she will turn you into a slug.

Fetdimlun's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fetdimlun's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fetdimlun first in all things.

2. Worship no other gods but Fetdimlun.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Never feed garlic to doves while wearing shoes.