Lancedpin is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-knowing clam.

Lancedpin created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lancedpin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lancedpin, it will strike you with lightening.

Lancedpin's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Lancedpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention frogs.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink alcohol.