Janomttam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured skunk.

Janomttam created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Janomttam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Janomttam, she will destroy your home solar system.

Janomttam's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Janomttam's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near hamsters while wearing gray scarves and balancing nine iron spheres on your head.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always look after injured birds.

5. Do not cook food in pots.