Vogpagbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy cobra.

Vogpagbaf created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Vogpagbaf, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vogpagbaf, it will turn you into a tree.

Vogpagbaf's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vogpagbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near sheep while wearing fawn boots.

2. Never think ill of sick gulls.

3. Always help sick monkeys.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near birds while wearing violet shoes and balancing five aluminium spheres on your chest.