Femjopmabbagraw is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, vain salamander.

Femjopmabbagraw created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femjopmabbagraw, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Femjopmabbagraw, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Femjopmabbagraw's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Femjopmabbagraw's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. You must love Femjopmabbagraw.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Worship no other gods but Femjopmabbagraw.

5. Never paint your chest blue.