Flapgonnel is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-assured grasshopper.

Flapgonnel created the Tadpole Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flapgonnel, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flapgonnel, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Flapgonnel's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Flapgonnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Flapgonnel on top of all buildings.

3. Flapgonnel must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never paint your hands pink.

5. Always look after injured mice.