Wapdogdam Gessdancen is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, cheerful ferret.

Wapdogdam Gessdancen created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Wapdogdam Gessdancen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wapdogdam Gessdancen, she will turn you into a tree.

Wapdogdam Gessdancen's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Wapdogdam Gessdancen's Holy Commandments

1. Wapdogdam Gessdancen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.