Timzogtag Bemwanfom is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, vain fox.

Timzogtag Bemwanfom created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timzogtag Bemwanfom, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Timzogtag Bemwanfom, it will turn you into a frog.

Timzogtag Bemwanfom's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Timzogtag Bemwanfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Timzogtag Bemwanfom in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not cook food in pots.