Hivyamfunlarggadvig Quafvabafcid is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, all-powerful bat.

Hivyamfunlarggadvig Quafvabafcid created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivyamfunlarggadvig Quafvabafcid, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hivyamfunlarggadvig Quafvabafcid, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hivyamfunlarggadvig Quafvabafcid's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Hivyamfunlarggadvig Quafvabafcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck yellow.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about gravity near rats while wearing orange shirts and balancing three silicon spheres on your legs.