Dumrotkab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, merciful faun.

Dumrotkab created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumrotkab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dumrotkab, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Dumrotkab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Dumrotkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white jumpers.

2. Always help horses.

3. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Dumrotkab on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink alcohol.