Tabkensas is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, loving penguin.

Tabkensas created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabkensas, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tabkensas, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tabkensas' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tabkensas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Retreat if four birds approach from the west.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Learn five new languages a year.