Tinbogget is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, moody crab.

Tinbogget created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinbogget, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tinbogget, she will turn you into a duck.

Tinbogget's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tinbogget's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to bats while wearing trousers.

2. Do not hurt snails.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Never think about special relativity near birds while wearing yellow skirts and balancing four silver spheres on your feet.