Quimjigman is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, confident alligator.

Quimjigman created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimjigman, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quimjigman, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quimjigman's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Quimjigman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about dark matter near otters while wearing magenta dresses.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.