Cemshavjop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, confident wolf.

Cemshavjop created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Cemshavjop, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cemshavjop, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Cemshavjop's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cemshavjop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Cemshavjop in the centre of the settlement.

2. You must pray to Cemshavjop seven times a day.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always look after injured dogs.