Hastadfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, annoying raven.

Hastadfeb created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hastadfeb, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hastadfeb, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hastadfeb's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hastadfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hastadfeb loves whales, so they must be respected.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hastadfeb.