Disspagzod is a god.

She takes the form of a large, kind hamster.

Disspagzod created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Disspagzod, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Disspagzod, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Disspagzod's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Disspagzod's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.