Appmapdum is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful monkey.

Appmapdum created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appmapdum, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Appmapdum, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Appmapdum's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Appmapdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect nine gold sculptures of Appmapdum on top of important buildings.