Dussqueegarmwigflissigyok is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, irritating seal.

Dussqueegarmwigflissigyok created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussqueegarmwigflissigyok, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dussqueegarmwigflissigyok, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dussqueegarmwigflissigyok's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Dussqueegarmwigflissigyok's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing green scarves and balancing three zinc spheres on your hands.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.